“Governor Haley, the President wants you to come to the White House. He has reservations about the Russian sanctions. “
”Tell him that dog doesn’t hunt anymore. No more meetings alone with him. He’s disgusting. I made it clear we can talk on the phone.”
“Governor, the President is on the phone”
”Hello Mr. President, how can I help you?”
”Nikki, how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Donnie, we have history.”
“Mr. President, you chasing me around a desk isn’t history. Let’s stay professional here. You owe it to the office.”
” Look, Nikki, who could help themselves? You’re a beautiful woman for Christ’s sake! I had to move on you! You’re all I think about.”
”Er, that’s very flattering Mr. President, but we have a job to do. What’s this about you having second thoughts about the new round of sanctions I just announced?”
”Oh, Right. Listen Vicki, they won’t fly. Vla… er, I mean my gut tells me they are counterproductive. Let’s scrap em. Tell everyone you were confused.”
”Confused?! What are you talking about. We discussed everything with the General last night! This is what we agreed on! This is what I announced! I’ve been on all the Sunday shows, for God’s sake!!!”
”And you looked spectacular. Love your lips. But this comes from the top, sweetie. They’re history. Make it happen!”
”You are the top, sir! You authorized this!”
”Listen, Mitzi, I changed my mind. Vladimir and I have an incredible summit coming up. We’re going to do great things. He says these will get in the way. I tried to convince him we had to do em, but he’s tough… former OGB, you know, man of action. I like that”
”When did you talk to him! It hasn’t been 18 hours since we settled this thing! WTF, Mr. President.”
”Special line, honey, he knows I’m always available. We’re talking peace here. Global security. Stop being a hater and debase yourself nationally. Get on the train, girl.”
”What about my credibility?! Nobody in the chamber will take me seriously! I’ve spent 15 months creating a brand… er, I mean promoting your agenda, Mr President. I can’t go back on my word. What will they call me?!”
”Indian giver?!, hee hee, Just joking dear. Besides, you don’t have to go back on your word, Sarah already put out the story…just nod that beautiful noggin of yours. Cmon, take one for the team here. I promise next time I’ll back you 100%!!! “
”What do you mean she’s already put it out?!”
”Sean’s running with it too, babe. It’s done. Might as well get your head on it, er… around it. Whatever. Listen, Nick, I want to get some golf in before I do some tweeting and pull some serious executive time. Abe is coming in and he thinks he’s so damn smart. Stresses me out. You’re doing a fantastic job; let’s have lunch… gotta go.”
”Mr. Presss… Dammit!! Not again. This is no way to conduct policy. What the hell was I thinking. Nothing is worth this. Christie is right; I can’t trust that fat ass as far as I can throw him. Bob, sanctions are off… and what about that group I’m meeting with in Iowa. Let’s get the spin going on this….” BC
I see you are a playwrite as well. Working titles?
1. A Russian in the Sun
2. The Glass Vajayjay
3. The Taming of the Shrew (no edit needed)
4. As You Like It, You Wretches
5. Hamilton (Who dat!)
I got more but I’m having too much fun laughing in order not to cry.