As the hourly chaos this President deliberately creates continues to gnaw away at our system’s foundations, it’s appropriate to take stock in how our basic relationships weather these uncharted waters. An old high school friend posited the issue on an FB thread thusly: “I see so many threads along the lines of “if you support Trump, just unfriend me now” I encourage you to remember why the person was your friend in the first place.” It’s a valid point about a relevant concern; the collateral damage of frayed or destroyed relationships shouldn’t be taken lightly. There simply aren’t that many friends to be had, and fewer still new ones to be found; our world grows increasingly aloof.
Yet and still, many believe this Presidency is a crisis, and how people act in such circumstances can’t help but be noted and have an impact moving forward. Someone you thought you knew pulls a George Castanza during a fire, his status is bound to be reconsidered. Trump loathers have had two years now to consider what constitutes the proper balance between tolerating Trumpie inclinations and showing MAGAites the door. It’s a tough issue. Trump and his wretched core surely don’t make it any easier.
Central to the entire deal is the question of just how unprecedented is this Administration? How not normal is Trump, really? On election night his campaign had already offered more than enough evidence a very bad mistake was in the offing, but even up until Inaguration Day there were valid hopes tradition, the DC establishment, and the epiphany great responsibility often foists would succeed in raising Trump’s game. After all, the reasoning went, if he brought together the right team, his frailties could be offset.
Two years, 7000 certified lies, and one resignation after the other later those hopes are history, dashed at the feet of a psychotic with a taste for Adderall. Michelle Obama said with knowing certainty the Presidency clarifies exactly who a person is. Truer words were never spoken. We now realize it was more than a mistake…. the worst person in our country occupies the Oval Office. Each of us is going to do with that realization what we will, but it seems a bridge too far to expect our reactions unworthy of scrutiny by those who know us. For while it’s undoubtedly true our system once afforded clear dividers between politics and the rest of our routines, the luxury of categorization was the first casualty of Election 16’. Trump is not Romney or McCain – or even Cruz – he is a worst case the founding fathers feared and created contingencies for. Right now that safety net appears to have some gaping holes.
My friend’s missive stimulated much response, and there was a great deal of sympathy for the notion election results should not be allowed to leach into personal ties. Of course, Trump supporters were most adament about this point, voicing disdain for those who would violate such sanctity. Hysterics needlessly jeopardized friendships and impinged on free expression, according to this viewpoint. Leaning on Obama has become a go to response. Remember, we tolerated your support of that uppity scoundrel, not four, but eight years! Fair is fair. Equivalence is the wretched core’s Alamo, the final fall rope on nihilism’s sheer face.
Old documentary footage of interviews with German citizens who facilitated the rise of fascism, often by simply ignoring totalitarian servility in an effort to maintain friendships, yields often poignant footage of rationalization by the guilt ridden, regretful they didn’t do more when it mattered. Why ruin a whole evening, they sadly implore. These were very close friends… family. What were we to do? Nobody could have foreseen what was to come.
Indeed, for many the issue still hovers whether it’s all just crying wolf, even as Trump comes more unglued by the hour, actually shutting down the government to maintain credence with a bloc he is nothing without. Trumpies despise Hitler comparisons. Did we do that with Obama? Come on! That’s crazy talk! Low blow! It’s useful to remember that, while the Civil War’s divisions were often punctuated by stories of brother vs. brother, or one neighbor enlisting in the Union Army and another following Jeff Davis, the first skirmishes were attended by DC-area onlookers who brought picnic lunches, as if attending horse races. Few understood the genie about to be freed from its lamp. Things can get out of hand in a hurry. Ruin comes in many shapes and sizes.
But as Trump does his worst is it now about more than just his fans? Just how hard should one be toward neutral cluelessness? Life is tough, more difficult still when accepting the burdens of a whacked out President, fully backed by an automaton Senate Majority leader. The wretched core is one thing, what about those who just want to ignore the whole affair? Is apathy now a grievous character flaw? Is consciously ignoring Trump just as bad as supporting him? If a house is burning, are you going to much differentiate the person ignoring the emergency from the one cheering its occurance? Isn’t it just a few layers higher on the same onion?
“I’m so tired of both sides. I wish they’d all just shut up” has become a very common refrain. Since Inauguration Day, Facebook and Twitter have overflowed with those disgusted about posts of anything other than selfies and group photos of family and friends. A willful determination to deny government’s importance, democracy’s relevance. A constant flinch at anything other than one’s own parochial concerns. Has Trump rendered such obsessive self-centeredness a sin? Civic treachery?
Two years have done nothing but justify the worst fears of never-Trumpers. By every metric, many never before required, this Presidency is a chaotic threat to our nation, headed by a man fully guided by the propaganda outlets which relentlessly spin his nihilism for consumption by a base its product conceived and nurtured. There is nowhere to go but up, despite his hourly efforts to descend ever further. His is only a rabid quest for self-preservation; the national interest seldom interferes.
Of course every relationship is unique, and we all must decide for ourselves how deep and valuable different friendships are, but simply declaring it’s not appropriate to hold people accountable for views on all of the ugly biases and nihilism Trump clarifies on the hour is utter nonsense and, more importantly, normalizes the worst we’ve seen, and should pray to ever see in the White House. Can you be a good person and embrace Donald Trump? Sure. But that doesn’t mean you’re not horribly misguided and hurting your country, your neighbors and your family. Sadly, good people are not immune to such frailties.
Perhaps just as significantly, does holding your hands to your ears and screaming leave me alone make one a bad person? Of course not. But doing nothing in a crisis often causes as much damage as doing the wrong thing. The whole American experiment was based on citizens with skin in the game. Many were denied making their full contribution along the way. Now we’re faced with a danger that only grows when good people do nothing. Where this ship is heading all passengers are going to need a life jacket. The Titanic afforded no special safety deck for those denying its peril, every passenger faced the frigid North Atlantic. One can be decent, indifferent and screwed all at the same time. BC