Like The Nose On Your Face

It’s August of 2008 and Michelle Obama gets an e-mail from Valerie Jarrett, who informs her some Russian national claims to have dirt on John McCain. Things have been discouraging lately, polls have shown Obama struggling to maintain an ever-ebbing advantage. McCain coffers are overflowing and the GOP candidate appears to be gaining momentum. Sarah Palin has electrified the base, attracting overflow crowds on the campaign trail. The race is clearly shifting. “If it’s what you say, I love it,” exalts the Democratic Presidential nominee’s wife accepting a meeting with the Russian source. Campaign Chief, David Axelrod replies he will try to make it as well. It is arranged it will happen at a major Democratic donor’s law office to provide cover from the press.

Fast forward to the ides of March, 2009. Barack Obama is settling into office after his historic victory. Economic revival has been a preoccupation from day one, but Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, in a panic, storms into the Oval Office to inform the President a Washington Post reporter has called asking questions about that meeting with the Russian last August! Apparently, somebody leaked the event and provided details of what was discussed. They want to know if you knew about it, Gibbs tells Obama. “Tell them hell no,” responds the President. “Say nobody can even remember what was discussed, maybe adoptions, or something like that… but I definitely was never told about it!” What about the First Lady, asks Gibbs, how do we explain her involvement. “She heard it was about adoptions and wanted to hear more. Very simple. I went over this with you all last summer. Told you exactly how to handle it. Calm down. It’s nothing.”

Two days later Gibbs takes a call in his office from the Post reporter investigating the story. “Robert, your account doesn’t wash. We have it that, not only was the President fully aware of the meeting, discussions centered on how Russian government sources could provide damaging info. on McCain. What’s your response to that?” “My response is it’s ridiculous. Some unhinged Russian woman wanted the First Lady’s help with adoptions. That’s it!” The reporter replies… “if you say so, but we are filling in the blanks and it doesn’t look good. In fact, we may be ready to publish soon. I’ll give you the day to get back to me.”

“You moron! I told you to just keep cool about it. They probably sensed your panic. Why did I hire you? They told me it was a mistake! We never admit anything! Understand? These white devils are just trying to cheat me out of my victory! It’s a frame up. A fake story.” “Er, but Mr. President, it’s not fake. It happened.” “Who cares if it happened?! Nothing came of it! Just because we were willing to hear them out, doesn’t mean crap. It’s politics, for God’s sake!” Nobody can prove I knew about it! That’s what we’re going with, understand?!” “Yes sir, but this thing has legs.”

A month has passed and the Russian meeting is now national story #1. Emails, obtained by the Post clearly prove beyond question the President, despite denying he ever had any knowledge of the event, actually orchestrated the cover up from the start. Moreover, leaked minutes of the meeting, with near word-for-word details, make it clear Russian intelligence was reaching out to the Obama campaign through a connected intermediary with an offer to provide some McCain dirty laundry. It seems only when polls began to reflect a fresh Obama surge, the result of Palin’s full meltdown as a VP option, did the campaign lose interest in the opportunity.

At his third press conference, Obama is inundated with questions about the Russian meeting. “Mr. President, what do you say to those agreeing with Republicans that a special counsel needs to look into whether top campaign officials considered accepting help from Russian government sources to smear Senator McCain? Why did you lie about your involvement? “I didn’t lie. That’s a made up story cooked up by those trying to tarnish my historic victory. This is a nothing burger. The GOP wants an investigation so they can start a fishing expedition. It’s all a witch hunt. So what if we did hear them out? It’s politics. Who doesn’t look for an edge? People are saying the McCain campaign did a lot of things that need looking into. Why aren’t they getting grilled like I am?!”

Attorney General Eric Holder appoints a special counsel to investigate the Russian meeting, now being called Dirtgate. Meanwhile, the President has taken to the road on a “Hope and Change” tour, visiting inner cities and encouraging mostly black audiences. The talk track is generally the same… the GOP racists are trying to steal our presidency, making things up about this Russian affair. It’s fake news, the Washington Post never really wanted me to win. Don’t be fooled, the white media wants me out of there. They’ll do anything. We know it’s a rigged system. I rocked the boat and they’re already sea sick. Are we going to let them take this away? No chance!”

David Axlerod is indicted for lying to investigators about his role in the Russian Meeting. Obama accepts his resignation, but makes clear he feels his Chief-of Staff has been treated very “unfairly” and intimates he may pardon him. After firing Eric Holder for not rescinding his original appointment of a special counsel, Obama continues to interview replacements, unsatisfied most can be relied on to terminate the investigation. Meanwhile, calls for impeachment get stronger, Republicans parade ceaselessly on Fox News to demand he resign, and what was a trickle, has become a stream of “blue dog” Democrats expressing openness to the idea of an impeachment process. Obama continues to hold rallies, his rhetoric increasingly divisive and racially charged. When he calls Mitch McConnell a “cracker,” Speaker Pelosi declares enough is enough and agrees to hold a vote to censure the President as the Democratic majority now splits, with more than enough moderates supporting impeachment.

Almost two months later, near fully isolated, and seeking immunity from any prosecution, Barack Obama resigns the Presidency. Not nine months into his term, the nation’s first black President is driven from office under a relentless funnel cloud of scandal stemming from a meeting with Russians during the general election campaign. Asked his feelings after Obama officially vacates the White House grounds, heading back to Chicago, Senator Lindsey Graham, the leader of GOP strategy to impeach Obama, asserts “for God’s sake, he met with Russians to discuss smearing one of America’s finest war heroes and statesman. What could he possibly have expected. Some things really speak for themselves. The day this nation ignores meeting with Russians to plan dirty tricks in a Presidential election is the day I will move somewhere else! Let’s just be thankful we nipped this in the bud before he did something really terrible, like meeting with Putin sans translators, or even exchanging love notes with our friend over there in North Korea. Can you imagine?!” BC